Love at first sight
Romantic: Oh! How wonderfully sweet to know instantly that you're the one for me! It's just like Romeo and Juliet or maybe Cinderella and Prince Charming!
Cynic: You mean infatuation at first sight. There's no such thing as knowing instantly that you've found your one true love when you haven't even asked for their name yet.
Flowers on Valentine's Day
Romantic: Flowers are absolutely lovely and every girl loves them. What's more romantic than red roses waiting for you on your doorstep?
Cynic: Dying flowers that won't last more than a week and a half? I'll pass.
Carving your names into a tree
Romantic: Our names will be there together forever!
Cynic: You chislled out a hunk in a living tree to advertise to the world that we're together?! Remind me why I'm dating an Earth-killing lumberjack such as yourself. You might as well chop down an entire rainforest in South America and pretend call that a romantic act.
Doodling hearts with your name all over a piece of paper
Romantic: Aww! You're thinking of me! I'm always on your mind even when you're supposed to be paying attention to something else.
Cynic: Oh god, here we go again with wasting perfectly clean sheets of paper with something as mundane and mindless as a dreamer's doodles.
Buying chocolates for your loved one
Romantic: I love chocolates! It's very SWEET of you to get them for me!
Cynic: Let me guess. You just came back from Walmart where you ran by the Valentine's section of the store and picked up the cheapest box of sugary confection you could find. How thoughtful.
Romantic: The message of this card is soo sweet! You must have taken so much care to pick out the right card for me.
Cynic: This is just a form letter with the words "Happy Valentine's Day!" and your name signed on the inside of the card. How much effort did this really take?
Giving stuffed teddy bears
Romantic: Aww! How cute! I love it!
Cynic: Remind me what I'm going to do with this because I fail to see its purpose.
Breakfast in bed
Romantic: How sweet of you! And you made it all for me!
Cynic: What a way to endear yourself to me by insinuating I'm a bedridden invalid. Thank you.
A sweet message left sent to you
Romantic: It's so sweet that you took the time to A) think about me and B) compose the messagefor me knowing it would make me feel this bubbly inside!
Cynic: And you couldn't tell me this face-to-face?
A nice dinner out
Romantic: You took me to my favorite restaurant, paid for my meal, and offered me part of your dish. How absolutely perfect!
Cynic: Well...okay, you win this round.