Part four! I've said this before, and I'll say it again: check out my earlier posts (aka. part one, two, and three) if you haven't already done so! A little more than a year ago, I wrote a lovely piece of creative writing for my English class titled "Letter to a Future Boyfriend." Out of all of the compositions I've published on the website Teen Ink, "Letter to a Future Boyfriend" is the most popular and viewed work that I've submitted. This strangely witty letter outlining specific requirements for a future love was written out of pure curiosity to see what I could concoct for my creative writing assignment. "Letter to a Future Boyfriend" was created out of what twisted humor I had at the time, but every now and then throughout the purely fictional composition, I glimpse snippets of my own personal thoughts from back then. I look back over the piece now and see how the words half-way mimic the words I'd say now if you asked me what I wanted in a future boyfriend. In other parts, the words are strangely reminiscent of a former me. Somehow rereading my written words, I can spot the many ways my perspective and my heart has changed since I penned that work. These days, people who I haven't seen in a while come up to me. Oddly, every person asks me the same three questions: 1) How's college going? 2) Are you loving it? 3) Have you found the special guy in your life yet? I honestly have no idea why this third question is the most frequently brought up, and it occurs right after I talk about my infinitely long list of accomplishments. Is it because I'm in college people assume that I'll find love with a snap of my fingers or a twitch of my nose? My answer: No, not yet. Single still. "Aww...well, you'll find someone soon. You're smart, you're talented--why wouldn't anyone want you as their girlfriend?" There's one flaw with this logic: No one looks at your résumé before they decide to date you. Point made. If I was to add anything new to my "Letter to a Future Boyfriend," I'd have to say that guys need to start looking within and stop focusing on superficial aspects. It may sound silly to say this, but I desire for someone to tell me that I am beautiful inside and out. How about a flattering compliment about my intelligence or my talents? Or how about someone telling me that I have a beautiful heart and soul? How nice would that be? Too often people are written off just because of appearances. The appearance of always studying in the library rather than hanging out with friends on a Friday night. The appearance of preferring a pair of comfy three year old tennis shoes to impossible to walk in three inch heels. The appearance of being terribly bitter when you're just talking. Sometimes I wish that people would look within and see what beauty lies within the soul if you only get to know the person a little better. For now, I'll keep waiting. Love may not come any time soon, but I can keep an open heart to any reply from a future boyfriend
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If you haven't already checked out part one and two of my weekly musings on love, go ahead and give it a read. Finding love in three steps (note: I didn't say "easy steps.") Step One: Pick a target or hope that you become the target. Talk to people and see if anyone around you strikes your fancy. Keep an open heart to anyone you meet. Don't judge a book by its cover and don't write a person off as an idiotic jerk until you have actually spoken to them first. Step Two: See if your target is worth it. Hang out with said person and strike up some conversation. Compare interests. Figure out if their personality appeals to you. Good questions to ask yourself: Do we share anything in common at all and can we connect on a similar wavelengths? Can you sustain a conversation with whomever for longer than ten minutes? If no is your answer, then you've certainly run into a brick wall. Can you see yourself with this person? Step Three: Weasel your way into their life and see if that person is interested at all. This is probably trickiest step out of the whole search. To finagle your way into somebody else's life, you need to know enough about him or her to make wise actions. Example: Giving someone a vase full of roses for Valentine's Day is an excellent idea especially if you already know that that person loves flowers. Giving someone a box full of chocolates that that person is highly allergic to is not such a well-thought out idea. I cannot stress to you how important it is to take the chance to learn more about your target before you act. Listen to them talk and don't just zone out. Listening to someone's news of the day or rants about the world gives you tons of clues. Don't go to the extreme of stalking, but do pay attention to subtle details and do find a way to weasel your way into their life. Shall we continue with these weekly posts about love? Note: if you haven't read part one, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and read it and continue to stay updated with my blog posts about love. Have you ever turned on the radio and realized how many songs mention something or anything at all about love? Turn to the country music station, you hear "If I Die Young" by the Band Perry. Twist the dial a notch to the left and you hear Sara Bareilles' "Love Song." Switch over to the classical music station and you hear a soprano from Carmen singing about love. Yank the radio dial to the right and you'll find your speakers blaring "WE ARE NEVER EVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER!" Love songs (or sometimes anti-love songs) are everywhere in every form possible! If you don't believe me, take out your iPod and scroll down your playlist and see how often the theme of love comes up. Valentine's Day is coming up in some weeks ahead, and I can already feel the lovey-dovey songs hitting up the playlist in my head. It gets me in the spirit for my search for love. For anyone embarking on the quest with me through these next few weeks, give these songs a listen. There's a nice variety of songs in here so give them a nice listen. 1) "Somebody to Watch Over Me"--I particularly favor Renee Olstead's version of this song, but nice song to listen to overall. 2) "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5 3) "Thousand Years" by Christina Perri 4) "Rhythm of Love" by The Plain White T's 5) "Music of the Night" from Phantom of the Opera 6) "Best of My Love" by The Emotions 7) "A Love That Will Last" by Renee Olstead 8) "Fearless" by Taylor Swift 9) "The Call" by Regina Spektor 10) "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz 11) "Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Bublé 12) "I'll Be" (acoustic version) by Edwin McCain 13) "Arms" by Christina Perri 14) "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry 15) "You and I Both" by Jason Mraz 16) "Maybe" by Yiruma 17) "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman--personally, I like listening to Boyce Avenue's cover of this song 18) "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz 19) "Collide" (acoustic version) by Howie Day 20) "Have I Told You Lately" by Rod Stewart--Classic oldie that always brings a smile to my face With Valentine's Day less than a month away, maybe it's about time to muse a little about this lovey-dovey commercial holiday. There's really no better time to dwell on love, infatuation, and the meaningful relationships in our lives. Perhaps for the next coming weeks up until Valentine's Day, I'll share some of my thoughts on love. From here until the fourteen of February, you, dear reader, and I can be sentimental, cynical, serious, sorta delirious, love-sickened, and maybe even successful in our search for love. February 14th, Valentine's Day--what other day tends to make single men and women feel more awkward than that one holiday? Okay, maybe the one exception is New Year's when all the couples in the room are busy sucking face, but that's not my point. On Valentine's Day, all the lovely couples are celebrating, reminiscing, and lavishing their time and money on their significant others while all the single people sigh and awkwardly wait for the day to die. There are five categories of people to note on Valentine's Day: 1) Lovely dovey couples who are incandescently happy together--The relationship or engagement or marriage is holding up beautifully and the appropriate Valentine's Day gifts have been bestowed upon one another and the world is a beautiful place on this harmonious day. Beautiful. 2) Heartbroken souls who haven't quite healed yet from their last duel with love--You might find these people mopily listening to pathetically depressing music all day and night long. The romantic day is salt in an open wound for them. 3) Upset girlfriends who quietly complain to themselves and their friends that their boyfriend either bungled the day with a stupid gift or forgot about the day entirely--Girls will know what day it is, but guys, on the other hand, could just care less. The clashing of opinion could certainly yield to some enchanting passive aggressive behavior from some girls. Beware and proceed with caution around this unique species. 4) Bitter folks who will mock the notion of love and chivalry and the gifting of roses that will die within two weeks--Cynical is what they are, but there's probably a good reason why. 5) The dreamers and the desperate--The day (and the days leading up to it) are filled with sappy tweets and statuses screaming to the world how desperate they are to find love. They dream and sigh the day away waiting for love to magically come riding up to their doorstep. Some will accept the first offer they can find just so they aren't lonely on this lovey-dovey holiday. Valentine's Day is always met with mixed emotions from the public ranging from strong approval to pure disgust, but dear reader, I believe there is one important thought we all should hold with us as we advance towards Feb. 14th: The holiday celebrating romantic true love has always targeted couples obviously, but I wonder what if instead it targeted everyone else (the heartbroken, the bitter, and the dreamers). What if the message to convey on this day was "Open your heart to love"? What if we willingly opened our hearts to allow room for love? How much happier might we be then if we allowed for this change to embrace us? So...my first piece of advice in the search to find love: Don't ever close yourself off from love. May love melt away our bitterness like warm sunlight dissolving the last frost of winter. May the hurt and the broken souls in this world find peace and compassion. May the dreamers take the leap of faith and finally set out from their hobbit hole in search of the love they've been hoping and dreaming for. Just a few days ago, I finished up my submission for a little contest called "Aiken's Retrospective" and I'm happy to say that after several hours of hard work slaving over a canvas with paint-coated fingers, my painting is ready to hang in the Aiken Center for the Arts. Many people wonder what kind of steps go into creating a work of art. Shall I demostrate? A picture says a thousand words, so let me present the gradual step-by-step evolution of my painting. |
AuthorKendall Driscoll is an accomplished writer/ musician/ artist/ academic scholar. Archives
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