Today comes the final installment of my month-long series of blog posts musing on love and Valentine's Day. Today's finally the day of lovey dovey sentimental gift giving and such. Flowers have been given, handfuls of chocolate have been eaten, and evening dates have been arranged. People often contribute some little token of appreciation to their loved ones during this holiday (girlfriends/boyfriends, spouses, children, and friends). This can come in the form of roses, a handmade cards, or even simple greetings wishing someone a lovely and happy Valentine's Day. My contribution to this holiday was when I made my Valentine's cards to the kids in the hospital, but other than that, my Valentine's Day hasn't been much of anything (partially because my roommate and I are sharing germs and remaining sick for the rest of our Valentine's Day).
Valentine's Day is a day of sharing love to everyone. Make of it what you will. Bash it. Celebrate it. Romanticize it. Enjoy it. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Cheers!
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A Cynic's and a Romantic's Clashing Opinions on Love
Love at first sight Romantic: Oh! How wonderfully sweet to know instantly that you're the one for me! It's just like Romeo and Juliet or maybe Cinderella and Prince Charming! Cynic: You mean infatuation at first sight. There's no such thing as knowing instantly that you've found your one true love when you haven't even asked for their name yet. Flowers on Valentine's Day Romantic: Flowers are absolutely lovely and every girl loves them. What's more romantic than red roses waiting for you on your doorstep? Cynic: Dying flowers that won't last more than a week and a half? I'll pass. Carving your names into a tree Romantic: Our names will be there together forever! Cynic: You chislled out a hunk in a living tree to advertise to the world that we're together?! Remind me why I'm dating an Earth-killing lumberjack such as yourself. You might as well chop down an entire rainforest in South America and pretend call that a romantic act. Doodling hearts with your name all over a piece of paper Romantic: Aww! You're thinking of me! I'm always on your mind even when you're supposed to be paying attention to something else. Cynic: Oh god, here we go again with wasting perfectly clean sheets of paper with something as mundane and mindless as a dreamer's doodles. Buying chocolates for your loved one Romantic: I love chocolates! It's very SWEET of you to get them for me! Cynic: Let me guess. You just came back from Walmart where you ran by the Valentine's section of the store and picked up the cheapest box of sugary confection you could find. How thoughtful. Card giving Romantic: The message of this card is soo sweet! You must have taken so much care to pick out the right card for me. Cynic: This is just a form letter with the words "Happy Valentine's Day!" and your name signed on the inside of the card. How much effort did this really take? Giving stuffed teddy bears Romantic: Aww! How cute! I love it! Cynic: Remind me what I'm going to do with this because I fail to see its purpose. Breakfast in bed Romantic: How sweet of you! And you made it all for me! Cynic: What a way to endear yourself to me by insinuating I'm a bedridden invalid. Thank you. A sweet message left sent to you Romantic: It's so sweet that you took the time to A) think about me and B) compose the messagefor me knowing it would make me feel this bubbly inside! Cynic: And you couldn't tell me this face-to-face? A nice dinner out Romantic: You took me to my favorite restaurant, paid for my meal, and offered me part of your dish. How absolutely perfect! Cynic: Well...okay, you win this round. Nothing's worse than being diagnosed with case of bitterness or broken heart syndrome close to Valentine's Day. This lovey-dovey holiday burns like sulfuric acid in our veins and we want to lash out with anger or lock ourselves up in sorrow-filled solitude. I realized today that most of my posts musing on the topic of love were all leaning on the brighter romantic-ish side of February 14th. Don't think I'm trying to balance out the two sides of hater versus lover because I'm not. I have creative freedom to muse whatever I want! Muwahaha! Anyhow, back on topic--maybe it's a good idea to discuss the viewpoint of the heartbroken. In my time, I've read handfuls of heartbroken letters that have been written out but never sent to the person to whom they were addressed. Unsent letters, a string of tearful diary entries, two dozen midnight text messages venting to your closest friends, the ceremonial shredding or trashing of pictures, and the endless repeat of Evanescence's "My Immortal" on your iPod are just some of the various ways the heartbroken cope with their emotions. No matter what brave face you put on for your friends or family, heartbreak is never easy to deal with. We always hope for a clean break should love ever fall apart, but clean is never really how life operates. No matter the reasons for love falling apart, we always feel the absent of love when it has left our doorstep. We notice the void in our hearts and in our lives when it ceases to hold our bodies in its warm embrace. We sometimes sense the love that was once present in our veins has now chilled to icy bitterness. People are bitter for a reason, not because it's naturally coded into their DNA. Bitterness stems from pain and hurt that has gripped us hard. It's not easy to let go of that pain or heartbreak, and it's certainly not easy to throw your heart back out there to get it hurt again...but sometimes, we need for that bitterness to melt away so that we can move on. But how do you allow someone into your life after someone else has caused so much havoc? How do you keep yourself from going into that dark place again? How do you mend your heart after it has been stepped on and all your hope for love has been bitten off? I have no definite answer or solution. It's still a challenge I'm working through and a topic I will continue to muse about. If there is a magical solution to melt the hurt away and to open up our hearts fully again, I'd love to find it. For now, just keep moving forward. "You are loved." What a simple and caring message for a Valentine's Day card. This evening, my friend and I did our St. Valentine's good deed by making Valentine's Day cards for kids in the hospital. For "Valentines for Kids," you create simple Valentine's Day cards for kids who are in the hospital on Valentine's Day and send them in the mail. Late this afternoon, we went to the store to pick up some heart-shaped stickers and colorful construction paper and then headed back to the dorm to create our homemade Valentines. Listening to the music of Aaron Copland, Max Bruch, and Ralph Vaughan Williams and drinking a nice cup of steaming hot tea, my friend and I filled an envelope full of beautifully decorated Valentines. A wide variety of red, purple, and pink hearts cluttered our cards as we poured our creative and artistic abilities into such a small but hopefully powerful good deed. All of my cards contained the same generic message that could be used for any person no matter what age or gender. "Happy Valentine's Day! You are loved." It's such a simple message, but somehow, I feel it can mean so much to anyone. "You are loved." Everyone wants to be cared for. Everyone wants to know that they are loved. Write someone a Valentine's Day card. It doesn't have to be romantic or sappy or overly sentimental. It just has to be from the heart and let them know that you care. |
AuthorKendall Driscoll is an accomplished writer/ musician/ artist/ academic scholar. Archives
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